עברית To answer positively, with active, dedicated heart and will forces, the last words and prayer of Rudolf Steiner, ‘May Human Beings Hear this!’ each person has to struggle to grasp his and her connection to the mission of the being of Anthroposophia. In the following, we shall describe the struggle that comes about, with the temptations of Ahriman and Lucifer, if we seriously decide to take a spiritual initiative in connection with this being.
The Struggle with Ahriman and Lucifer over the
‘Golden Karmic Script’
From lecture 4: The Anthroposophical Movement in the Present
The Twilight and Resurrection of Humanity
To answer positively, with active, dedicated heart and will forces, the last words and prayer of Rudolf Steiner, ‘May Human Beings Hear this!’ each person has to struggle to grasp his and her connection to the mission of the being of Anthroposophia. In the following, we shall describe the struggle that comes about, with the temptations of Ahriman and Lucifer, if we seriously decide to take a spiritual initiative in connection with this being. This being, begotten of the Christ and Sophia impulses, supports us in our efforts to grasp and individualize the being of humanity and the higher self of each one of us. It must be understood that this initiative has nothing to do with professional choices, for example, whether we should become Waldorf teachers, eurythmists or therapists, but rather, it concerns choosing consciously to fulfil our part in the development of the being of Anthroposophia. Ahriman and Lucifer don’t fight against the choices we make in our personal life because they benefit from everything that we do from a purely personal motivation. What they strongly fight against is the possibility that human beings will chose freely, in the most personal way, out of their love and dedication, to connect themselves with the universal spiritual goals of humanity. The struggle described below is really fought over taking this free initiative, in connection with our relation to the real spiritual being of Anthroposophy. It is all about how we can dedicate more and more of our forces to the evolution of humanity and the Earth. Our work has now reached a stage in which the question about this individual initiative stands before each one of us, if we want to contribute actively and creatively to the development of the Michaelic movement now and in the future.
If we wish to be honest with ourselves about our participation in the true Michaelic movement and in the School of Spiritual Science, we must take these things not only into our intellect and mere feelings, but into the active forces of our heart and will. They cannot remain in the realm of passive thoughts and sentiments, but must penetrate all the way to the active, creative forces of the will. Because the Michaelic stream can only work through truly active, courageous people. For this purpose, let us contemplate once more the words of Rudolf Steiner, spoken in August 1924, as part of his last words on earth:
“All this makes it necessary for the anthroposophist to pay heed to one condition of his karma—a condition that is sure to be present in him to a high degree. Much can be said,—and we shall still have to say many things— about the reasons why one or another character or temperament is drawn to Anthroposophy after the events of the spiritual world which I have described. But all these impulses, which bring the single anthroposophists to Anthroposophy, have, as it were, one counterpart, which the Spirit of the World has made stronger in them than in other men. All the many possibilities that are there with respect to the most manifold things in life, demand from the anthroposophist initiative—inner initiative of soul. We must become aware of this. For the anthroposophist this proverb must hold good. He must say to himself: ‘Now that I have become an anthroposophist through my karma, the impulses which have been able to draw me to Anthroposophy require me to be attentive and alert. For somehow or somewhere, more or less deeply in my soul, there will emerge the necessity for me to find inner initiative in life,—initiative of soul which will enable me to undertake something or to make some judgement or decision out of my own inmost being.’ Verily, this is written in the karma of every single anthroposophist: ‘Be a man of initiative, and beware lest through hindrances of your own body, or hindrances that otherwise come in your way, you do not find the centre of your being, where is the source of your initiative. Observe that in your life all joy and sorrow, all happiness and pain will depend on the finding or not finding of your own individual initiative.’ This should stand written as though in golden letters, constantly before the soul of the anthroposophist. Initiative lies in his karma, and much of what meets him in this life will depend on the extent to which he can become willingly, actively conscious of it...
This too is due to the fact that such a man is pre-disposed to the unfolding of inner initiative. His karma having placed him in the world with this quality, he is always in the position (forgive the comparison) of a bee that has a sting but is afraid to use it at the right moment. The sting is the initiative, but the man is afraid to use it. He is afraid, above all, of stinging into the ahrimanic realm. Not that he fears that he will thereby hurt the ahrimanic. No, he is afraid that the sting will recoil into his own body. This, to some extent, is what his fear is like. Thus, through an undetermined fear of life the initiative remains inactive”.
This fear is absolutely real and powerful. If you raise your gaze to read in the ‘golden letters’ what you have written, before your birth, in your karma, and then look into your hearts, dear friends, the first reaction would probably be, ’Who am I to even think about it?’ Even the mentioning of this ideal in connection with me or us may sound more than a little bit presumptuous or even preposterous! It can help you to situate yourself in your central, middle humanity, if you look at the original members of the Vorstand around Rudolf Steiner in a realistic way, without illusions and personal glorifications, and see them for what they were, as profoundly weak mortals like all of us (of course, not ignoring their admirable qualities and talents); this may help you perhaps to find also a more realistic way to understand yourself and your role. But we must learn to discern and recognize this voice that will say: ‘Who am I even to think so about myself?’ or, alternatively, looking at my weak mortal partners, ’Who are they?!’ It all depends in such a testing moment on the realization that this is not the voice of our true self. It’s the voice of Ahriman. He’s always inspiring fear when it comes to experiencing our true spiritual value and dignity. But most self-deprecating people—and I think most of us here, as old souls, should know ourselves!—most old souls are inclined to belong to this group rather than to the opposite, ego-inflating group; they would be less inclined to answer Ahriman’s test with a strong sense of self- aggrandisement. I believe that most of the people sitting here, belong to those who would be tempted by Ahriman in this way, when he inspires doubt and fear about our innermost spiritual value and capacities. When we listen to him, we will be inclined to think, ‘small insignificant little thing that you are! How presumptuous would it be for you to believe that you may choose to take on such a Michaelic initiative and role!’ We have to face this temptation in full consciousness and overcome it. We live in the time in which each person must choose what he and she would want to become. You choose your path, you choose your destiny, you choose your spiritual initiative, role and task. If you sit and wait to be chosen, to be called, to be told who you are by others, you will always actually obey this ahrimanic voice telling you: ‘Who are you? You aren’t worthy of this at all! Sit down and be small and don’t think too big because, well, just look at yourself!’ This must be faced truly courageously.
We have to find the courage to answer Ahriman correctly, which is not easy at all. We don’t want to answer the ahrimanic temptation with a luciferic inflation of the ego. It must be a very courageous yet humble, concrete answer. I will not try to compare myself to anybody else. I am just looking at my own choice of becoming who I am and in choosing what my initiative and task is. What do I want to choose as my Michaelic mission? And let this live in me. Then the voices of doubt and fear will give way to true Michaelic individual and community development, and then one day, I will wake up and feel the inner, calm strength, to answer Ahriman properly. The moment of courage is always a moment of an actual event, full and concrete in itself. It is not a gradual process, in the sense of—‘If I wait and prepare myself it will come one day.’ Of course, I must prepare myself, but I must understand that there is not preparation for this act of courage, because it is a singular act, as Rudolf Steiner said to the young (see the second lecture above): ‘Only courage, real courage! We need the courage to say that the life of the world must be re-established on totally new foundations. This courage is something we either learn very quickly or not at all’. Then you will be able to face Ahriman and answer his temptation, saying authentically, ‘Yes, first of all I admit that you are right, but only up to certain point, after which you are totally wrong and misleading. Indeed, you are right when you whisper, that I am not worthy to choose this destiny, because it is really not found in my ordinary earthly self. But I can tell you this: it is really “not I”, but the I AM in me!’ You would be able now to address Ahriman’s voice calmly and tell him, ‘True, agreed, it is “not I’’; but I will find now the courage to add this humble, decisive “but”!’
That is, I could now fully agree with Ahriman that it’s not my ordinary ’I’. However, Ahriman says: ‘It’s not you, entirely, wholly not you.’ To which I can now retort: ’Ok, I don’t have a problem with you as long as you speak about my ordinary human “I”; on this point we can agree; you say it’s not “I”, and I agree—it’s not my ordinary self. But I add to this something decisive that will force you to withdraw your accusation: ‘Not “I”, indeed, it’s really not my ordinary “I”—but now wait for the surprise! Because as true as it is not my ordinary “I”, it is just as true that it is the “I AM” in me.’ And then Ahriman is forced to admit: this guy cannot be my prey right now; I will go and tempt the others.
If you then believe that you just accomplished it and can rest happily forever on the laurels of your victory, you will allow Lucifer at that very moment to get really close to you. He takes his brother’s place and tells you as follows. ’Congratulations! Finally you have found yourself, you are now the full embodiment of the real I AM. There are many like you here in my company. I will show you my wonderful world and you will join all my other luminaries; you can become part of this community now. So many shining bright egos are gathered here around me! Join us.’ And you, being happy that you answered Ahriman in the right way, fall immediately to the other side, because you are convinced that you found your I AM for all times to come. But if you don’t want to fall into this sweet spiritualistic fantasy of self-inflating egos, you would have to find a good answer to this alluring, flattering, luciferic temptation as well...
Continue reading in lecture 4: The Anthroposophical Movement in the Present